How to Clean a Carpet After a Party (or When You Are Drunk)

May 26th, 2017
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Parties are every carpet’s nightmare. There is almost no carpet that has survived a party without a stain. Food, beverages, and dancing people is all you need to end up with, let say it straight,  a ruined carpet. But what can you do to save your carpet? Honestly, there is nothing much you can do while the party is on its peak. Just make sure to blot up the excess contaminating material so it doesn’t damage the carpet further more.  Once the party has over, the real job begins.

Tackle the stain as soon as possible! This will require some will since you would probably be exhausted, drunk, and , if not lucky, with a few hours left to sleep before work, but you should be strong. Put yourself together and get that ugly stain out of your carpet! Alternatively, you can just follow the example of Adam Sandler in “Big Daddy“, and cover the stain with newspapers.

Yeah, this should work… I guess! But if you are not too much into Adam Sandler’s way, you might be more interested in the following tips.

How to clean your carpet when you are drunk

Your actions will greatly depend on how drunk you are exactly. Here is our four-grade scale for drunkenness:

  1. Not drunk at all
  2. Dizzy
  3. Drunk – Not advisable for cleaning! Chances are you do more damage than good.
  4. Game over– you are so drunk that you’ve passed out! Obviously, you carpet is doomed if you reach that stage!

Being in third stage is not good but there is at least some hope for your carpet. Here, an empty bucket along your side is a must. Why? Because your carpet doesn’t need extra staining. The best you can do for your carpet at this stage is to blot as much of the stain as possible with a slightly damp cloth and leave the rest for the next day.

If you are just feeling a little bit dizzy, you can move, think rationally, and believe you won’t throw up while removing the carpet stain, proceed with the tips below:

Instructions

Plan A:

1. Determine the type of the  stain. This will help you to decide which cleaning method is best to apply in order to remove the stain.

2. Treat the affected area according to the type of the stain:

  • For grease stains, blot the area with a small amount of dry-cleaning fluid. Then, remove the stain completely with a mixture of warm water and a small amount of dish-washing liquid. Work from outside of the stain inwards, and let the solution sit for five minutes before rinsing the area.
  • To remove juice and wine stains, blot the stain with a mixture of lukewarm water and a small amount of laundry detergent. Rinse with club soda. Repeat until the stain is gone.
  • For eggs and dairy products, sponge the stain using warm water mixed with ammonia. Use a mixture of equal parts white vinegar and warm water to remove any remaining stain.

5. Soak up the excess moisture. This  is universal step that should be applied after each carpet stain removal process in order to help the carpet dry quickly. Place a stack of three to five paper towels over the stains and press them down with a heavy object. Let dry overnight.

6. Give yourself a deserved rest.

7. Once the area is dry, vacuum the carpet to restore the natural look of the pile.

Plan B:

Call professional cleaners to clean your carpet for you. In a second thought, probably this should be plan A when you consider throwing a party, and expect everything to get messy.

Signs that say you are drunk enough not to clean:

  • Licking the stain to determine of what kind it is.
  • Eating leftovers from the ground instead of vacuuming them up.
  • Tasting the detergents you are using.
  • Thinking that using the vinegar from the party salad for cleaning is killing two rabbits with one stone.
  • Seeing two or more stains when there is actually one.
  • Shouting the stain to stop moving, so you can clean it out.
  • Calling your ex-girlfriend for cleaning advice.
  • Staring at the stain, hoping to remove it with the power of your mind.

On occurrence of one or more of these signs, please stop cleaning and go to sleep instead.

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